The mechanics of the grip
Stand up first. A man who shakes hands from a chair has told the other person how much the meeting matters to him. Extend your right hand with the thumb up and the palm vertical, and slide in until the web between your thumb and forefinger meets theirs. Most bad handshakes are failures of that one detail: stopping short gives the other person a handful of fingers, which feels limp however hard you squeeze. Match their pressure, pump twice from the elbow, and let go after two or three seconds. Keep the left hand out of it. Clasping the elbow or covering the handshake with a second hand reads as a sales technique.
Small preparations
- Carry your drink in your left hand at any event, so that the right is dry and warm.
- Take off sunglasses, and take out earbuds, before you greet anyone.
- Dry a damp palm discreetly against your trouser leg on the way up.
- Say your first and last name clearly and a little more slowly than feels natural.
Introducing other people
The rule is to speak first to the person you are honoring, which means the older person, the senior colleague, the client or your guest. Say their name, then present the other party to them, as in "Mrs. Alvarez, this is my roommate, Daniel Cho." Add one line that gives the two of them somewhere to start, such as the fact that Daniel just moved from the city where she grew up. If you are standing with someone and a third person joins, introduce them within the first few seconds.
Names, and forgetting them
Repeat the name once when you hear it, and use it again when you part. If you did not catch it, ask at once, while asking is still natural. If you have forgotten the name of someone you have met before, say so plainly and offer yours again, since they have probably lost yours too. When someone has clearly forgotten your name, rescue them by offering it with your hand.
When a handshake is not offered
Some people do not shake hands, for reasons of religion, health or plain preference. If no hand comes forward, a nod, a smile and a warm greeting complete the introduction fully. Follow their lead and move on without comment.
Tip In a group, shake every hand, not only the ones belonging to the people you came to see. The person you skip will remember it longer than the people you greeted.
