Conduct

Firm, not crushing. Two shakes, then release. Make eye contact, and say the person's name back once — it helps you remember it and signals you were actually listening rather than waiting to speak.

Work from the outside in with utensils — the outermost fork or spoon is for the first course. Napkin goes on your lap immediately upon sitting, moves to the chair if you step away briefly, and to the table (never the plate) when the meal is finished.

Match the table's pace

Don't finish your course while others are still on their first few bites — dining is paced conversation as much as it is eating.

The best conversationalists ask more than they tell. A genuine follow-up question matters more than a clever opening line. Let silences sit for a beat instead of rushing to fill every pause.

Lead with the point, then supply context — not the reverse. Cut any sentence that doesn't change what the reader does next. Proofread once for content and once for typos before sending, as two separate passes catch different mistakes.

Have a plan for the evening, but hold it loosely. Greet people individually as they arrive rather than getting pulled into one long conversation early. The host's job is to make everyone else comfortable — not to be the center of the room.

Arrive on time — not early, and not more than 15 minutes late without sending a message. Bring something: wine, dessert, flowers. Offer to help clean up once, and accept a "no" gracefully if it comes. Send a short thank-you afterward.

Build in more buffer time than feels necessary, and the entire trip gets noticeably easier. Be patient with staff who are very likely having a harder day than you are. Learning a handful of words in the local language wherever you're going measurably changes how you're treated.