Money first
The average American wedding now costs tens of thousands of dollars, largely because couples shop first and add up later. Reverse the order. Find out what you two can pay from savings and from the months before the date, and ask each family plainly whether they intend to contribute and how much: "We are setting our budget, and it would help to know if you were planning to help, so that we plan around real numbers." Money from parents sometimes comes with opinions attached, and it is fair to ask about those too. Do not borrow for a party. A wedding paid for on credit cards is still being paid for on the second anniversary.
The guest list is the budget
Catering, bar, rentals, invitations, favors and the size of the room all multiply by the number of guests, and food and drink alone commonly take close to half the total. Cutting twenty people saves more than any amount of clever work on centerpieces. Write the list in tiers and hold the line at the number the budget allows. Children, coworkers and plus-ones for guests who are not in serious relationships are the usual places to draw it, and the rule must be applied evenly to avoid hurt feelings.
Where the savings are
- Choose a Friday, a Sunday or a winter date, when venues and vendors often charge much less than on a Saturday in June or October.
- Pick a venue that includes tables, chairs and linens, and ask whether you may bring your own alcohol.
- Serve beer, wine and one signature cocktail instead of a full open bar.
- Order a small display cake and serve sheet cake from the kitchen.
- Use flowers that are in season, and move the ceremony arrangements to the reception.
Leave five to ten percent of the budget unassigned for overtime, delivery fees and tips.
Contracts and the license
Get every vendor agreement in writing, with the date, hours, exact deliverables, payment schedule and cancellation terms. Read what happens to the deposit if you cancel and what the vendor owes you if they do. Paying deposits by credit card gives you dispute rights if a vendor disappears, provided you pay the card off. The marriage license is the only part that is legally required. Rules on waiting periods, expiration and witnesses vary by state and county, so check the county clerk's website two months ahead.
Tip Before adding any item, ask whether a guest would notice its absence. Nobody has ever remembered a wedding for its chair covers.
