Start with the introduction
Knock, or catch people in the hallway or the driveway, and keep it short: "I am Sam, and I just moved into 3B. I wanted to say hello." Learn the names of the people on either side of you, above and below you, or across the street. Trade telephone numbers with at least one household. That number is how you learn that your car lights are on, that water is coming through a ceiling or that a stranger is trying your door.
Noise, the main event
Most disputes between neighbors are about sound. Many cities and most leases set quiet hours, commonly from ten at night until seven in the morning, and your city's noise ordinance is easy to find on its website. In an apartment, put rugs over hard floors, put felt pads under chair legs, keep speakers and subwoofers off the floor and away from shared walls, and do laundry and vacuuming at civil hours. Before a party, tell the adjacent neighbors the date and the time it will end and give them your number. Then end it when you said you would.
Shared ground
- Bring trash bins in on the day they are emptied, and break down your boxes.
- Park in your own space, and never block a driveway, even for five minutes.
- Pick up after your dog every time, and do not leave a barking dog alone outdoors.
- Talk to the neighbor before you build a fence or trim a tree on a boundary, because the rules on property lines vary by state and a survey costs less than a lawsuit.
When there is a problem
Go in person, once, politely, and assume they do not know. Say, "I do not think you realize how much the sound carries, but I can hear your television in my bedroom after midnight. I would appreciate it if you could turn it down after eleven." Do not leave an anonymous note, which always reads as hostile. If a second friendly request fails, keep a dated record and go to the landlord, the homeowners association or the city's non-emergency line. The police are for danger, not for irritation.
Small favors
Take in a package, hold a spare key, water plants for a week. Check on an older neighbor during a heat wave or a power failure.
Tip When you introduce yourself, leave a card with your name, unit and telephone number. It costs nothing, and it will be on their refrigerator the night your smoke alarm will not stop.
