Different clocks for different occasions
On time does not mean the same thing everywhere. For an interview, a medical appointment or a meeting with a client, be in the building ten minutes ahead, but do not walk up to the desk more than ten minutes early, because a very early arrival makes you someone else's problem. For a restaurant reservation, arrive on the dot, since many restaurants release a table after about fifteen minutes.
Dinner at someone's home is the exception to early. Arrive at the stated time or up to ten minutes after it, and never before, because the host is still doing something they would prefer you not see. For an open house or a large party, anywhere in the first half hour is fine.
Why you are late, and the fix
Chronic lateness is rarely disrespect. It is optimism. People remember the best trip they ever made to a place and plan around it, and they forget parking, elevators and the search for keys. The repair is mechanical.
- Work backward from the arrival time, not the start time, and write down the minute you must leave.
- Add a quarter again to any travel estimate.
- Set an alarm for the time to start getting ready and a second one for the time to walk out the door.
- Stage everything the night before, including keys, documents, a charged phone and the address.
- Refuse the one last task before leaving, which is where most of the lost minutes go.
When you will be late anyway
Send word the moment you know, not at the minute you were due. Give a real arrival time, padded by five minutes, and release the other person: "I'm running behind and will be there at 7:20. Please order without me." Do not text while driving to say so, and pull over or call hands-free instead. On arrival, apologize once, skip the saga about traffic and get on with it.
Respecting time in other ways
Punctuality covers endings as well. Finish meetings at the stated time and keep a requested five minutes to five. Cancel as early as you can, and at least a full day ahead for any appointment, since many offices charge for late cancellations. When you are the one waiting, fifteen to twenty minutes and one check-in message is a reasonable limit before you carry on with your day.
Tip Bring something to read and treat an early arrival as found time. Once ten spare minutes stop feeling like waste, leaving early stops feeling like a sacrifice.
