Make the request specific
A good request can be answered in one reading. It names the task, the date, the time it will take and why you chose this person. "I am moving on Saturday the 14th and need one more set of hands from nine to noon to carry boxes down one flight. You are the only person I know with a truck, and lunch is on me" gives the reader everything needed to decide. Asking whether someone is "around next weekend" is the version everyone dreads, because it demands a commitment before the price is known. State the full size of the job. A favor described as five minutes that takes an hour will be the last one you get.
Give a real way out
Build the exit into the request itself: "If this is a bad week, say so, and I will ask someone else with no hard feelings." People who want to help will still say yes, and the line keeps the friendship intact when the answer is no. Then honor it. Accept a refusal at once, without asking for the reason and without a wounded pause. Ask individuals and not a group, too. A plea to twelve people in a chat lets each one assume another will answer, while a message to one person gets a reply.
Do the work for them
When you ask for a reference, an introduction or a recommendation letter, send everything the person needs in the same message: your resume, the job posting, the deadline, the name and address of the recipient, and two or three points you hope will be mentioned. For an introduction, write a short paragraph about yourself that can be forwarded untouched. Give at least two weeks for anything written.
Afterward
- Thank the person the same day, by name, for the specific thing.
- Report back on how it came out, since someone who wrote your reference deserves to hear that you got the job.
- Offer to cover gas, materials or a missed shift before you are asked, and return the favor in kind when the chance arises.
- Space your requests, because the friend who is asked every month begins to screen your calls.
Tip Ask a little earlier than feels necessary. A request made with a week's notice is a favor, and the same request made the night before is an emergency you have handed to someone else.
