What it is for
Treat the conversation as research. You are talking to someone who does work you think you might want, and you learn what the days consist of, what the pay and the path look like, and which credentials are decoration. A job lead sometimes follows, but only when you have not asked for one. People are generous with advice and guarded with favors, and the moment you ask a near-stranger to get you hired the conversation closes.
The request
Look first among people with some thread to you: alumni of your school, a friend's colleague, a former coworker of your manager. Write four or five sentences. Say who you are, name the connection, state what you want to learn about, and ask for twenty minutes by phone or video at their convenience. Do not attach a resume. If a week passes in silence, send one polite follow-up and then let it go.
Questions worth their time
Read the person's public profile and the company's site first, so that you never spend a minute on something you could have looked up. Then ask what only they can tell you.
- Ask them to describe what they actually did last week.
- Ask what surprised them most after they started in the field.
- Ask which skills separate the people who advance from those who stall.
- Ask how people usually get their first job in this line of work.
- Ask what they would do differently if they were starting this year.
Running the twenty minutes
You asked for the meeting, so you run it. Open with one sentence of thanks and two on your background, then let them talk for most of the time. Take notes. At eighteen minutes, say that you promised twenty and want to respect that, and let them choose whether to continue. Close by asking whether there is anyone else they would suggest you speak with, which is the one request that is always fair and the way one conversation becomes five.
Afterward
Send a thank-you note within twenty-four hours that mentions one specific thing you learned. A month or two later, write again with a short report: you read the book, took the course, spoke to the person they named. Hardly anyone does this, and it is what makes a stranger remember you when a position opens.
Tip If you meet in person, you buy the coffee. The person across the table is giving you an hour of a working day, and the four dollars is the cheapest part of the exchange.
