Before you sit down
Book a table for anywhere popular, arrive within ten minutes of the time, and call if you are running late or cannot come, since a no-show costs a small restaurant real money. If you have a serious allergy, say so as you order and use the word allergy, which the kitchen treats differently from a preference.
Reading the menu
Nobody is obliged to order a starter, a main and a dessert. At a restaurant serving small or shared plates, ask the server how many dishes a table of your size usually orders, which is normally two or three per person.
- A la carte means each item is priced and ordered separately, sides included.
- Prix fixe means a set number of courses for one stated price.
- A tasting menu is a long sequence of small courses chosen by the chef, often for the whole table.
- Market price means the cost changes daily, and it is entirely normal to ask what it is today.
Asking and ordering
Good questions are specific. Ask which dishes the kitchen is proudest of, how a dish is prepared, or how large it is. Say how you want a steak cooked without waiting to be asked. For wine, point to a price on the list and say you would like something like that, which tells the server your budget without announcing it to the table. Catch a server's eye or raise a hand slightly to get attention. Snapping fingers and calling across the room are never acceptable.
When something is wrong
Send a dish back if it is not what you ordered, if it is cold when it should be hot, or if meat or fish is undercooked. Do it promptly, after a bite or two, and describe the problem calmly without apology or anger. A dish you simply do not care for is yours.
The check
Ask for the check when you are ready, since in most American restaurants it will not arrive unrequested during dinner. Look for a service charge or automatic gratuity, which is common for parties of six or more, and do not tip twice by accident. Otherwise tip 18 to 20 percent of the pre-tax total for table service. If you plan to split the bill, tell the server at the beginning of the meal and not at the end.
Tip If you cannot pronounce a dish, point to it and ask the server how it is said. They hear the question nightly and most enjoy answering it.
