Go first
The person who introduces themselves first looks at ease, and the person who waits to be introduced looks like someone hoping to be rescued. When you land beside a stranger at a party, a meeting or a job site, close the gap in the first few seconds. Turn to face them, offer your hand and say, "Hello, I'm Dana Reyes." After two minutes of standing side by side, the introduction needs an apology attached.
Name plus one hook
A bare name gives the other person nothing to work with. Add one line of context that explains why you are in the room and hands them an easy reply.
- At a wedding, say, "I'm Dana, I went to college with the groom."
- At work, say, "I'm Dana Reyes, I started on the billing team last week."
- At a cookout, say, "I'm Dana, we moved into the blue house on the corner in March."
Use your first and last name in professional settings and slow down on both. Most people rush their own name because they have said it ten thousand times, so leave a small pause between the first name and the last.
The handshake itself
Extend your right hand with the thumb up and slide in until the web between your thumb and forefinger meets theirs. Catching only the fingers is what produces the limp shake everyone remembers. Match their pressure, about as firm as you would grip a door handle, pump two or three times and let go. Keep your eyes on their face, not on the hands, and stand up if you are seated. Some people do not shake hands for religious, health or personal reasons. A nod and a smile does the same job, and no comment is needed.
Groups and second meetings
Walking up to a circle, wait for a pause, then say, "I don't think I've met everyone, I'm Dana." Shake with each person rather than waving at the group in general. When you suspect you have met someone before but are not certain, say "Good to see you" instead of "Nice to meet you," which is true either way. If someone has plainly forgotten your name, offer it before they have to ask: "Dana Reyes, we met at the spring conference." They will usually return the favor.
Tip When you introduce two other people, say the name of the person you want to honor first, such as the older guest or the client, then give each of them one fact about the other so they can start talking without you.
